| only a select few. |
[21 Dec 2003|10:48am] |
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mood |
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music |
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northstar ; is this thing loaded? |
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because i don't want to stupid people reading my journal.
add me if you want to read. i will potentially add you back.
if you're already added, nothgin to wrry about.
love<3
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[21 Dec 2003|01:17am] |
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mood |
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............ |
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?
<3
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| eh. |
[20 Dec 2003|12:04pm] |
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mood |
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 sad |
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music |
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boys night out ; sketch artist composite |
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i hate my father.
first the car dies. then i get mad. so my dad tells me everythings not about. he regrets having kids. and i dont think he knows how that makes me feel. then he asks me to help him jumpstart it. i said hold on one minute. he flipped out on me. so i told him to fuck himself.
now i have no rides to work and no car for months. i pray he doesnt hold up with this. i really do fucking hate him. and i just cried. i hate christmas. this is the worst holiday ever.
love you, i need you now. <3
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| bow chicka bow wow. |
[19 Dec 2003|10:17pm] |
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mood |
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lonely |
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music |
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forstella ford ; i echoed so loud |
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well work today was ok. brian, pete, and ben were there so it was semi-enjoyable. i didnt have to dump milk. so thats cool. i found out my boss gave into my demands, and now i am off fridays! yes! im only working sunday, tuesday, and saturday next week. im reallllly happy about this. its so amazing.
nothing to do tonite. everyones out, and even if i could go out, id probably just stay in. im so tired. its ridiculous. shopping with bribabz in the morning i think. i need to get this shiz done.
i misssss you. :-/
i owe you 908450843 hugs and kisses.
love you soooooo much. <33333333333333333
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| overly enthused, easily confused. |
[18 Dec 2003|09:55pm] |
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hungry |
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kind of like spitting ; blue period |
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i worked tonight. it was somewhat awful/cool. i poured out 480 gallons of expired milk for almost 5 hours. ouch. i smell like milk. my back hurts soooooo bad. i need a back rub like you wouldnt know.
school was alright. i almost fell asleep a few times. in english we watched edward scissorhands. so thats cool. and in related we watched the nightmare before christmas. so yeah thats hott. i got a 82 on my chem test, and a 103 on my english quiz, yeah ill admit i got the bonus right too.
im sorry about how i acted the opther day. i was being selfish, and dumb, like a guy can do, oh and lets not forget jealous. i miss you sooo much, i cant wait to see you, and i love you soooooooooooooo much. you are the best friend i have ever had, ever ever ever ever. you're too amazing. <3
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| yeah |
[17 Dec 2003|10:11pm] |
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mood |
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rejected |
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... |
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hmmmm.
you left your mix here. :-/
i don't really know how i felt about tonight. honestly, im a little angered at certain people because they ask me to come cause they need to christmas shop. i get there and this individual brought 2 kids that i hate with a passion who are total trash. then totally blow me off, and say "ill see ya later". way cool. ca was hilarious though, and i couldn't stop laughing. so that made me feel a little better i guess. puke in the butt! ewww.
something felt weird though. it was like you didnt want to hold my hand, or really even do anything of that sort with me when we were there. i got a weird feeling. and a bit of a jealous feeling going on to. its probably sounds ridiculous but its true. it was like we were just friends tonight, not boyfriend and girlfriend, and that kinda upset me. it seemed like you were pissed off at me. i liked having everyone there, the company was nice i guess, but in a way i kinda regret that it just wasnt you and me. i dunno :-/ i hope i didn't do something wrong. cause i didnt mean to. i'm sorry.
i guess im just not good at admitting how i feel till after the fact, and after its over. kinda dumb on my part i guess. i need to learn to tell you how i feel when you ask me, i guess i just dont cause im afraid of what you might say. i dunno.
i do not want to work tomorrow, or friday, or saturday, or sunday, or any day ever again. im way too stressed. kinda feel like crying. i guess im just going to bed. this is a hard time for me. this christmas sucks. my parents dont have money, and i dont really care about how many presents i get or how much theyre worth, i care about how i know i have reached the status of poor. you're the only positive thing about this christmas and holiday season. you're pretty much what's been keeping me going lately. and for the last few weeks you've been the only thing to put a smile on my face. and thats the most honest thing ive said in a while. for some reason the holidays bring me down alot. it sucks. honestly, the only thing i want to do is lay around with you day and night, and i can't. i really need you now. i love you so much i cant even explain. <3
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| !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
[16 Dec 2003|09:56pm] |
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mood |
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 thirsty |
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music |
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elliott ; blessed by your own ghost |
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( the twelve days of christmas )
well work was alright. except for the fact that i missed the bus and had to run home, and i really though i was going to fain. i called my mom and luckily she was there. phew. at work i literally poured out 300 gallons of milk by myself, (500 between ben and i). it was all expired. it took 5 hours. and it was crazy. thats all i did all day besides put away some brownies. Erika<333333 and Brian visited me. so that was amazing. and i guess Erika bought me presents! im excited. so excited!
i didnt give in to my boss today. i was like I CANT WORK FRIDAYS. and he was like well it says you can on the availability sheet, and i was like, WELL MY AVAILABILITY CHANGED, and he was like... OK. so on next weeks schedule i better not be working friday or HEADS WILL ROLL.
tomorrow: SHOPPING.<3
umm YOURE AMAZING. <3333
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| ughhh. |
[15 Dec 2003|11:13pm] |
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mood |
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 stressed |
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music |
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- |
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i need a new job already.
i wake up. i go to school. i come home. i eat real quick. i go to work. i come home. i call erika. i do homework. i got to bed. EVERYDAY. i really don't even have time to shower anymore. and that's just sad. i have to say something to my manager. and if he doesnt cut a day, then ill call in once a week, till he fires me. i dont even care. i HATE this.
i do love you though.
and its only been about 2 hours,
but i already miss you so much.
i realllly need a hug about now :(
<3
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| and i can't go on without you. |
[14 Dec 2003|11:52pm] |
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lonely |
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music |
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the starting line ; i'm real |
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i dont really know how i felt about today.
i went over erika's for a few hours. it was really nice to see her, and actually spend time with her. we went and erika got a present for her mom, then we went to vic's waffle.
danny, brian, vito, and harry were there. for some reason when i saw them it put me in a bad mood. i tried to convince myself i wasn't in a bad mood, but i guess there was no denying it, cause Erika could tell i was. i dunno why either. sorry <3
after Erika's i had to go to work. the guy was like, are you brad, and i was like yeah, and he was all GO IN DAIRY. and i really almost started to cry. i was praying all day to not be in dairy. my faith in god has been reduced even more. i did that for 4 hours. i took an extra long break to show those assholes. i got to do some regular stocking for an hour though. i was the only one in my dept. for a while. ill admit, i felt realllllllly lonely. :(
oh and to top of my wonderful work experience, the car dies. i tried starting it and nothing. i had to ask some guy to jumpstart it, and i felt like an idiot cause i have no knowledge of cars in anyway at all. whatever. i made it home. barely.
im just sick of work, and sick of school, and sick of not seeing you as close to as much as i would like to. love you <3
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| you were the last good thing about this part of town. |
[14 Dec 2003|12:28am] |
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mood |
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hungry |
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music |
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fall out boy ; grand theft autumn |
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work today. kinda lame. jimmy was there, which made my day. and jeff the peice of shit wasnt there so that was cool. he sucks huge pole. anyway, i had break with dutton kinda. i worked with pete all day. hes a cool dude. when i got home i went out with doak and larry. they raced. larry won. i drove doaks truck at one point, and its the wrost thing ive ever touched.
i visited Erika at work. i saw her for like 10 minutes. but it was really nice. and you hugged me and i could tell you missed me, and i miss you too. love you, dear. <3
tomorrow; going over erikas for a few hours, then work at 4. im praying for no school monday. <333
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thexbradley's journal